


don't leave me (now that you're back)

by Talvenhenki



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Coming back from the dead idk man, Gen, Getting used to the modern era, Hurt/Comfort, Immortality, Lancelot (Merlin) returns, Mental Health Issues, Modern Era, Mostly gen with a dash of Leoncelot, Sharing a Bed, This story is difficult to tag, immortality is a bitch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:33:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28345455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talvenhenki/pseuds/Talvenhenki
Summary: When the impossible happens, and a knight of Camelot returns to the land of living, Leon and Merlin are forced to adjust. Unfortunately, immortality is prone to making minds very fragile.
Relationships: Lancelot & Leon (Merlin), Lancelot & Merlin (Merlin), Leon & Merlin (Merlin)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 44





	don't leave me (now that you're back)

**Author's Note:**

> I had an idea and I squeezed this out in less than 2 days. You're welcome.
> 
> No warnings apply, but there is discussion and implications of the issues that immortality would have on a human mind. It's not very pretty, tbh.

For some reason, Leon was the one to first feel it. He’d scrambled to the car, barely taking the time to put on clothes for the freezing weather and driven to the forest he’d seen in his mind. He wasn’t sure – didn’t think it was wise to be sure, since there had been other times that he’d sensed an old friend returning – if it was for real this time, but he wanted to believe, god, Leon wanted to believe so _bad_!

Because this time, it had been Lancelot.

This time, it could be the one who he had missed the most, the one who had returned once – but as a shade, Merlin had explained years, maybe a decade, later – but died both times. This time, it could be the one Leon had loved. Sure, there had been others, but the memory (or rather, the ghost) of Lancelot had always been too strong in his mind, to loud. There had been times when Leon had tried to lose himself in the ale, the beer, the wine, but Lancelot had gently guided him out of it.

Parking the car hastily, Leon ran out into the forest. “Lancelot!” he shouted. “Lancelot! Are you there? _Lancelot_! Answer me, goddammit!”

And there he was. Wearing the same chainmail he had worn as a knight, Lancelot turned around to smile at Leon. A choked sob escaped Leon’s throat as he embraced his dear friend, knocking him down in the process. Lancelot wrapped his arms around Leon and squeezed as well, laughing softly.

“What on Earth are you wearing?” Lancelot asked, smiling widely. “Why is it black? What is it even made of?”

Before Leon could answer, his phone rang. Scrambling up, he picked it up and answered when he saw that it was Merlin. Listening to Merlin’s worried stream, Leon couldn’t help but smile because Lancelot was making the most surprised face Leon had ever seen him make.

“Yes, Merlin”, Leon muttered, “sorry. Yes, I have the car. I’ll…I’ll bring him home soon. I suppose he needs some new clothes to fit to our time. Can you take care of that?”

When Leon ended the call, he saw that Lancelot was still eyeing the phone suspiciously. “This”, Leon said, “is a mobile telephone. With it, I can talk to someone who is leagues away. It was invented…I’d say about a hundred years ago or so, give or take a few decades. It’s useful.”

Lancelot frowned. “That’s…how long ago was our…time?”

“That’s a good question”, Leon said, scratching his head, “a thousand years, at least. Merlin knows better, to be fair. He’s…he’s kept tabs of everything. He has piles upon piles of…well, everything. You’ll see.”

Lancelot frowned, and Leon smacked himself internally. Had Lancelot picked something up from the way Leon spoke? Leon hadn’t been prepared to meet someone and tell them about everything that had happened. Not when that someone was Lancelot who always blamed himself for everything. The poor man wouldn’t sleep if he knew about Leon’s life.

“What is the ‘car’ you spoke about?”

Leon chuckled. “A horseless cart”, he explained, “it moves with…I want to say ‘magic’, but Merlin would have my head for that. It moves with gasoline. Mine’s quite old but it does what it needs to do.”

Lancelot tilted his head and followed Leon back to the car. Leon helped him to get on the passenger’s seat and explained him how to use the seat belt – explaining it to an adult felt a bit ridiculous – before sitting on the driver’s seat and starting the car.

When they drove onto the highway, Lancelot’s eyes widened. He gripped the seat of the car, making Leon chuckle as he drove. It would take a while to get Lancelot used to the new era, and Leon would enjoy it immensely.

“Don’t worry”, Leon said as he exited the highway, “we’ll get there soon. Merlin’s got a farmhouse with a dozen rooms. And central heating. I love not having to chop wood for the fireplace anymore.”

“‘Central heating’?”

Leon shook his head, smiling fondly. “It keeps the house warm”, he explained, “sort of like a fireplace, but it has no fire. Just the warmth. Merlin will know how to explain it better.”

Lancelot looked at Leon with his deep dark eyes. “Is it just the two of you?”

“Yes, it’s been just us for a while.”

Leon didn’t know why he kept beating around the bush. Lancelot had known about Merlin’s magic and probably wouldn’t even bat an eye at the fact that Leon had lived for over a millennium. Leon had not changed, not a bit. Perhaps the only thing that was truly different in him were the eyes that now seemed empty and bitter. He was tired of living a seemingly endless life, tired of change, even of Merlin.

Living forever was a surprisingly lonely thing. In his mind, Leon sometimes cursed the Cup of Life that had granted him an eternity with a near-omnipotent sorcerer. Of course, Merlin couldn’t be sure if it had been in fact the Cup of Life that had made Leon immortal, but Leon wanted to blame the damned cup and those druids that had forced him to return. Had it not been for them, Leon wouldn’t had to have to see all his friends die gruesome deaths. Had it not been for that goddamn cup, Leon could have met his friends in the afterlife and not spend nights crying out for those that would never return.

Pulling up to the farmhouse, Leon helped Lancelot out – the seat belt was definitely an obstacle – and opened the door of the house. Surprisingly, Merlin wasn’t big on home security systems, since he could use magic instead of those.

“We’re back!” Leon called. “You in here, Merlin?”

Merlin arrived in the hallway as a gust of wind, embracing Lancelot. He was wearing one of Leon’s huge sweaters again, and his hair was messier than ever. He was laughing, too, but his voice sounded oddly stuffed.

“Hi there”, Lancelot breathed, “did you miss me?”

Merlin sniffled as he pulled away. “I damn well did. It’s been an eternity.”

“Leon said something about a millennium”, Lancelot said, “how long ago did you two return?”

Merlin’s face fell and he looked at Leon. Leon shrugged, shaking his head, and hoping that Merlin would understand that Leon had not wanted to spoil the reunion by telling Lancelot that hi, by the way, I never died and I’m older than this country! How could Leon even have said something like that while filled with joy for finally getting his dearest back?

“There’s something you’re not saying”, Lancelot observed, “what is it?”

Merlin sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Let’s get you settled in first. I’ll get you some clean clothes; you can have a bath. Leon, can you make something to eat? Actually, can you help Lancelot draw the bath first? It might be a bit of a shock at first.”

Lancelot frowned as he followed Leon into the bathroom. Leon checked the water’s temperature and opened the faucet, turning to look at Lancelot. Lancelot’s eyes were wide as he followed the flowing water with his gaze.

“This new era is magnificent”, Lancelot whispered. This made Leon laugh tiredly and shake his head.

“You’ll get used to it”, Leon said, “but it’ll need some time. Now, the clothes might prove a challenge. Just remember that the tags always go behind. And cloaks are no longer used. That’s a shame, really. What else…right, remember to pull out the plug when you’re done washing yourself. We’ll…we’ll explain the shower later.”

Lancelot smiled softly at Leon and cupped his cheek. For a moment, Leon almost allowed himself to be vulnerable, to be _seen_ by Lancelot. He covered Lancelot’s hand with his own, taking in the fact that his friend had returned, that Lancelot was home and _alive_.

Mentally kicking himself, Leon pulled back just slightly, gathering what was left of his composure. “Get washed”, he muttered, “I’ll make something to eat. Won’t be what you’re used to, but at least you’ll have a full stomach.”

Closing the faucet, Leon left the bathroom and mechanically walked into the kitchen. He felt oddly unreal, sort of like those times he’d felt like an outsider in his own life. Gathering some eggs, he decided to just scramble and lightly salt them. Merlin would understand, and the meal would be a feast for Lancelot, if Leon added some bread to it. They also had some fresh tomatoes from the gardens, which Leon could chop and make it their side dish. Yeah, that would do. Lancelot had probably never even had a tomato.

Soon after the eggs were done, something bumped into Leon, hugging him. Although Merlin was a hugger, he would never hug Leon while he was chopping anything. Leon squeezed his eyes shut, fighting the emotion that tried to claim him.

“Careful”, he breathed, “I’m holding a knife. Let me chop this and take the food to the living room, then you can hug me all you want. Deal?”

“Deal”, Lancelot replied, stepping closer to the counter. “What is that?”

“It’s a tomato”, Leon said, “it’s a vegetable…or technically a fruit, I think? These came from South America some few centuries ago.”

“I’m not going to even pretend that I know where that is”, Lancelot said, still smiling fondly at Leon. He was leaning one elbow on the counter, studying Leon’s face. “I like the way you’ve tied up part of your hair. It suits you. I can see your face better now.”

Leon blinked, still fighting the myriad of emotion in his chest. The way Lancelot smiled and existed just seemed too much for Leon. Leon had been so bitter for so long that he’d forgotten how to love and express his emotions. It almost felt like he would never be able to love again, not with the baggage he was carrying.

Swiping the chopped tomatoes into a bowl, Leon picked up the tray containing the small dinner and the dishes they needed for eating. He wordlessly carried the tray to the living room, followed by Lancelot. To his surprise, Leon saw that Merlin had brought some old mattresses into the living room and made a bed large enough for the three of them to sleep on.

“I thought it would be nice to share the bed tonight”, Merlin explained, “I think we all need it.”

“That’s a lovely idea”, Lancelot said, sitting on the sofa. His shoulder was touching Leon’s, but, surprisingly, he wasn’t trying to hold Leon’s hand. Had Leon pushed him away too hard?

“Now, you probably want to know how we’re here”, Merlin said, sighing, “and, to be honest, we don’t know. In my case, I think my magic has made me immortal, but Leon…we think it was the Cup of Life. It was sometime after Gwen’s death that we realised that Leon hadn’t aged at all.”

Lancelot’s eyes widened. He turned to look at Leon, almost immediately catching him in an embrace. Letting out a shaky breath, Leon leaned against Lancelot, still trying to fight against the emotion in his chest. If he could just keep it at bay for a bit longer, he wouldn’t feel so weak and useless. He wouldn’t feel like such a failure.

“You had to see us all die?” Lancelot breathed. “You watched us all die, and lived for a millennium by yourselves? How did you even survive that?”

Leon laughed dryly. “We didn’t. Well, Merlin did, but I didn’t. I’ve lost it more than once. But since I can’t die, I’ve just had to suffer through it. Nowadays they have medication for that sort of thing, at least.”

Leon was trembling now, and Lancelot squeezed his shoulders. Merlin was looking down; he’d witnessed so many of Leon’s breakdowns that he’d learnt to give Leon the privacy he needed. Lancelot, on the other hand, tried to help Leon, wanting to take the hurt away. Lancelot was stubborn and he probably still loved Leon – it hadn’t been a thousand years for Lancelot – which meant that he wanted to cure the pains Leon had.

“There’s…there’s a lot to teach you”, Merlin said, “but that can wait. We should eat now, and then go to sleep. It’s late.”

Lancelot nodded, still holding Leon. Merlin distributed some of the scrambled eggs on three bowls and poured some chopped tomatoes over each. To finish the look, he broke off some baguette and placed the pieces on the bowls. Leon pulled away enough to start eating, both for himself and Lancelot.

They ate in silence. Leon tried to avoid Lancelot’s eyes, staring forward at the painting Merlin had painted during the early 19th century. It had a little detail – the crest of Camelot – that Merlin had added, at which he and Leon had laughed later, because the critics had called it _a waste of paint_. That was what Leon was staring, trying to keep himself together.

Having finished his meal, Lancelot pulled Leon into another embrace. “I’ve got you”, he whispered, “and I’m not leaving you this time. This time, you’ll be bored to death of me, and I’ll still bother you for a few decades. Deal?”

Leon nodded. “Deal”, he choked out, “you’d better keep that promise. I can’t handle seeing you die for the third time.”

Lancelot smiled tenderly and kissed Leon’s hair. Leon held his hand and allowed Lancelot to rock him from side to side – the movement comforted Leon, oddly enough.

Soon it was time to go to bed. Merlin took the dishes back to the kitchen but decided that they’d get to wait until the next day to get washed, as no one felt up to doing so. They brushed their teeth – Lancelot made fun faces tasting toothpaste for the first time – and Merlin explained to Lancelot how the toilet worked. Leon changed into sweatpants and a T-shirt, and so did Merlin. Lancelot kept on the clothes Merlin had given him – grey sweatpants and a black long-sleeved shirt.

“You’re sleeping in the middle”, Merlin decided as he lay down, “I think both Leon and I want to hold you. I promise that you’ll get a proper bed tomorrow, but tonight we want to be close to you. Living for a thousand years…it got a little lonely with just the two of us. I hope you understand.”

Lancelot nodded. “I do, well, I can imagine it, anyway.” He then looked up at Leon who was hovering at the edge of the mattress and reached out his arm. “Come here. I won’t disappear during the night.”

Slowly, Leon knelt on the mattress. “Hold me?” he breathed. “I…I don’t want to forget that you’re here. Not while I sleep.”

Smiling, Lancelot pulled Leon into an embrace and lay down. “This bed is heavenly”, he whispered, “are all beds this soft nowadays?”

Merlin laughed. “No; some are much harder. I just prefer the soft ones.”

Leon snuggled closer to Lancelot, who laughed softly. Lancelot placed his chin over Leon’s head as Leon pressed his face against Lancelot’s shoulder. Merlin whispered a spell to extinguish all the candles – Leon had been so preoccupied with his mind that he hadn’t even noticed that there were no electric lights on – and pulled the blanket over all three of them. Lancelot hummed contently, as he’d never been this warm on a bed in his life and squeezed Leon’s shoulders.

“See you tomorrow”, Lancelot whispered.

And, against all of Leon’s fears, they did.

**Author's Note:**

> Tomatoes originate from Peru and Chile, and are technically berries. So says wikipedia.
> 
> I might make this a series, who knows? Least of all me.
> 
> Toss me a comment about your thoughts, and I might toss you a headcanon or other unrelated fact!


End file.
